Lending a Hand...

There are several reasons why I never became a stand-up comedian.

Firstly, I get anxiety attacks from being on a train, let alone being on stage.

Secondly, I'm not personally funny. I think I'm funny secondhandedly. I can write a mean joke, but when it comes to delivery, I find it best to leave it to professionals. Or even class clowns. Or anyone who likes the attention. I'm more of a joke feeder, than a joke teller.

Thirdly, I'm too much of a homebody to go out every night checking out the talent and honing my skills. I get home and all I want to do is be with my girls. That could also be referred to as lazy.

Fourthly, I don't like to repeat myself.

I doubt any comedian wants people to think they are just repeating material endlessly, whether they're doing a tight five at a Comedy Club, warming an TV audience or recording a DVD in front of a concert hall of fans. But that's what they do. It's their job, like mine is repeatedly designing ads and brochures and whatnot, with the same tricks each time (hello Drop Shadow, welcome back Linear Gradient, go fuck yourself Starburst...). The problem is that there's always gonna be that person who has already seen you perform that joke, and so the second time it might grate a bit, and by the sixth time it's gonna go down like a lead balloon.

Fifthly, I don't like to repeat myself.

But it seems a shame to produce something once and not use it elsewhere, even if there is a chance that people would have already seen it previously. If the professionals can do it, why can't I?

And if I'm gonna steal from anyone, why not myself?

So I've decided to start posting things from the Chad Lockwood archives.

Because they make me laugh.

And because it's a shame for them to never again see the light of day.

And because it's good to have them all in one place.

...and because I need the regular content...